A few weeks ago, the girls and I were riding in my car when out of the blue Caroline asks “mom, what does yin and yang mean?” Sure… it sounds easy enough to describe, but it’s one of those questions that it took me a minute to find the right words to share it to them in a way they would actually understand.
There are a ton of references of yin and yang in the dictionary [and yes I started looking at them to make sure I was correct in what I was explaining] and where they get their meaning from, but in a modern text it also truely means “opposites”. And that’s exactly how I attempted to describe it to Carson and Caroline… how they complement each other in unique ways, but how they are as opposite as night and day.
One of my fears when I had two girls so close in age was whether or not they would get competitive and jealous of one another. And having said that, yes they fight just like ALL siblings do, and though their personal attributes and mannerisms mimic each other all too often, their personalities and preferences are utterly different and for that I am truly SO thankful.
For instance, Caroline has a love of art and music like none other. Her right brain triumphs in that regard… she is thoughtful and creative, logical in how she does things and it’s absolutely incredible to see her independence and confidence shine through, no matter what she does. She is the most loyal person I know and goodness her heart exudes kindness.
Then on the other hand, there is the baby sister… Miss Wild Thing. Carson thrives on structure and organization [wonder where she gets that from] and she is a left brain thinker through and through. She is a perfectionist and wants to succeed in anything she does. She is a natural leader, has tons of energy, and is very sure of herself.
Nature versus nurture? I think not. One loves to be cuddled and hugged and one could care less about physical touch. One wants to be complimented with endless words of affirmation, while the other would enjoy nothing more than quality time with someone special.
I have people ask me all the time how my daughters get along so well, and yes there are peaks and valleys just like any relationship, but for the most part, their bond is everything I always dreamed of. I also try to let them “work it out” when they have issues with one another and more times than not, they work it out on their own.
We celebrate their achievements differently, tell them independently how proud we are of them, and have always encouraged special extra-curriculars so they each have their special “something”. For Carson, that’s dance and for Caroline, that’s art and music.
I think that has been super successful in forming their own identities separate from one another, and though that means Jeff and I playing chauffeur for hours every weekday afternoon, it’s 100% worth it so that each of my girls gets to pursue their passions, which has helped inhibit the sibling rivalry I was so concerned about when they were younger.
But when problems do arise, that’s when I call in reinforcement from Mimi who always seems to know the right things to say and do to help this mama think proactively and do what is best to make sure my daughters always feel seen and heard. Her wisdom knows no bounds, I can promise you that, and I can also say from experience you’re never too old to get advice from your mom to help steer you in the right direction.
So though they may be my little yin and yang, they uniquely fit together like perfect puzzle pieces and I’m so lucky they have each other, no matter what trials and tribulations they face in life. A sister is something I always wanted, though never had, and I think that’s why God gave me two little princesses.
One thing that always brings me so much joy is knowing that they were each other’s first friends… their first playmates + confidantes and their earliest thoughts about childhood always involve each other.
They have inside jokes only they know about, love to play together, and no matter what they say, they miss each other when they are apart = if that isn’t the sweetest thing in the world, I don’t know what is. So thank you God for these precious little princesses I get to call my ying and yang. OXOX