When Natasha asked me to guest post I started racking my brain for ideas. After much discussion, we landed on the topic of etiquette. I would, by no means, consider myself an etiquette expert. However, my mom is very traditional when it comes to etiquette and I love that she instilled those values in me from a young age. Etiquette can be a sensitive subject, but I want to talk about a few things that people have recently asked me or I've seen people do that just make me think, “ didn't your mother teach you better?”
Like I said, etiquette can be a touchy topic, so I’m sure not everyone will agree with what I say, and I completely understand that. But this is what I've grown up with and what I found to be the standard in the south and also according to actual the “experts.”
We’ll start with an easy one J DO IT! If someone sends you an invitation that asks you to respond, whether by “RSVP” or “Regrets Only,” by all means respond. And by the date requested. I know it can be hard to remember once you've put it on your fridge, but as a rule of thumb I will not put an invitation on the refrigerator until I've responded. This helps me make sure that I don’t forget. And this goes for electronic invitations, too!
Thank You Cards
For some people thank you cards can be a daunting task, but don’t make them overly complicated. Especially so overly complicated that you don’t do them. For birthdays, Christmas, showers, or other events give yourself one to two weeks to send them. Again, the sooner the better so you don’t forget. As for wedding gifts, the standard rule is three months for gifts given at the wedding. I know for some people, myself included, three months can be hard especially depending on the size of your wedding. But these people were kind enough to give a gift, make sure you’re kind enough to thank them.
I get it, you’re important and people are tweeting and emailing you constantly, but if you’re going to be on the phone the whole time we’re at lunch or dinner, well that just makes for a long meal! As someone who works in a field that is 24/7, I do understand it can be hard not to check your phone constantly. But there aren’t many times when you can’t go at least an hour without checking it. If you are expecting an important email, text, or call, just let the people who you’re with know. At least then you’re not acting like you’re bored and need to check Instagram every five minutes.
Shower Gifts vs. Wedding Gifts
Shower Gifts vs. Wedding Gifts
I’ve had a few people ask me lately if you’re supposed to give a wedding gift if you also gave a shower gift. There are many varying opinions to this and many varying circumstances to consider. My short answer is yes. I think of the shower gift as a gift for the shower and the wedding gift as a gift for the wedding. If you’re not sure that you can afford both, then split the amount you are able to afford between the two gifts. With that said, if you’re invited to multiple showers (which you shouldn’t be unless you’re family or in the wedding…another topic), you’re not expected to bring a gift to both showers. There are also a lot of people who travel from afar multiple times for one wedding’s events. In that situation I would just do what you think is best. If you’re close enough with the bride, just let her know!
And a few “quickies” to leave you with:
- Introductions: Do them! I know it’s easy to forget, but try to always remember to introduce people to each other at events or social gatherings. But make sure to call them the correct name, haha.
- Being Late: I understand we can all be late every now and again. But for those people who are constantly late…c’mon now.
- Giving Thanks: I’m constantly surprised by the number of people who never say “thank you.” And I’m talking just simply saying, typing or signaling (when in the car) the two words. It’s not that hard! If someone helps you, holds the door for you, or whatever it may be, say thank you!