Blog Everyday in May Challenge...Day 20

Monday, May 20, 2013

Day 20: Get Real. Share Something I'm Struggling with Right Now
If you want to forego the vanity talk, then by all means, no offense if you don't read today's post...for those that don't mind the "realness" in me coming out, then feel free to read on. This is going to come out as sounding ungrateful and petty, but it's something I am really struggling with and I just want to be honest. 

 I am tired of being pregnant, and I just want to look and feel normal again. 

There, I said it...I guess it wasn't so bad-just kinda stings like when you rip off a band-aid. Does it make me a horrible person to admit that publicly? Maybe so. In all honesty, I feel like I have been pregnant forever. In some form or fashion, I have been pregnant the past 3 years (2011, 2012, and now 2013) and I just want to feel like "me" again. I want to have my body back, I want to wear my normal clothes, and I want my self confidence back. I'm turning 30 in less than two months, and not only is that a "big birthday", but it's me telling myself that I want to look and feel good as I enter this next phase in my life.
These days, I feel like a big ball of blubber and the only thing that helps is taking a shower, putting on makeup, fixing my hair, and putting something semi-decent/non moo moo cow on before I head out the door. 
I know my husband doesn't have it easy either...he has to deal with me talking about how tired I am, how my belly constantly itches, how my legs have gotten fat, and now my feet look horrendous by the end of the day from all the swelling. But geez! At least he doesn't have to deal with all of this happening to his body all over again for the second time in two years. I've said it before and I'll say it again...I don't think men could physically deal with all the craziness that consumes women during pregnancy-they just don't understand EVERYTHING that happens during these glorious 9/10 months while you're developing a human. Now I obviously understand more of the reasons that God made Eve.  
Everyone tells me it's harder to lose the baby weight after #2 comes along, and I will be damned if I am going to let that happen to me. No matter what I have to do, I am promising myself that I will get my "pre-baby" body back...if there is something I am passionate about, it's maintaining a healthy lifestyle so I know if I put my mind to it, I can achieve it. It might not fall off overnight, but it WILL be gone.
So, be on the lookout for a drastic change from me once Carson comes. I know Jeff is dreading me going to the grocery store because our pantry shelves will no longer be stocked with sugary cereals, chips, and processed foods galore, but we will instead be eating healthy again...loads of fruits, veggies, and lean meats. I will still be cooking the food we both love to eat, but will be making better choices about the ingredients I use.
And then there comes the workouts...no more 30 minute trips to the gym for this lady, but my hour long sessions will resume and I'll be doing way more cardio than I have been, just because that helps me lose the baby weight quickly.
Thanks for listening to me vent today blogging friends and readers. It's an internal struggle  but I hope you'll help me with encouraging words and affirmations, or share your trusted trips and tricks so I can get my skinnies on again ;) 

- 25 Comments

  1. Barre classes are amazing! They really tone you and with cardio you will have an incredibly easy time getting back to you pre baby weight.

    I'm only in college, but put on a little weight during my study abroad trip. Those classes and cardio help me drop about 10 pounds and I am more toned than ever!

    Congrats on baby 1 and 2. You'll be free of the little one soon!

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  2. O they have a new mom special!

    http://purebarre.com/p-newmoms.html

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    1. this sounds wonderful!! thanks for the info...i love it

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  3. I completely understand! My second baby is 6 months old and I felt better about myself/weight loss after the second than my first! So, there's hope! :) You look beautiful pregnant, even if you don't feel that way!

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  4. good for you hun! You will definitely get back on track once Carson arrives! Don't feel bad for saying your tired of being pregnant, I felt the same way. I swear I felt like id been pregnant for two years! Hang in there love your almost there! xoxo

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  5. I felt the exact way you are feeling. I was pregnant much of 2011, half of 2012 and just delivered in March. Your body will bounce back quick. My weight fell of quick and I'm just now starting to work on toning up and working on the 'mom pooch'. You are in the homestretch.....you will look awesome rocking 30!

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  6. I remember feeling that way towards the end of my pregnancy, so I can't imagine how you are feeling with number 2 coming so quick. Pregnancy is SO hard on our bodies and while the end result is totally worth it, it can be so hard to deal with. I've cried many-a-tears about my body not looking how I want it to. But, slowly and surely it's coming back as will yours! Thanks for sharing and being so honest, I know A LOT of women will be able to relate to this! :)

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  7. I remember feeling like that when I had my second baby. And those last weeks of pregnancy make it even harder. Hang in there, and know you're supported totally.
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your old self back!

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  8. I hardly comment but always read every post! I've been 'with you' since before you and Jeff got married, so I know how much you value the healthy lifestyle and your beauty and self-confidence. Who can blame you? We all do, we're women!! I felt compelled to comment today because everyone just needs that little picker-upper sometimes and today seemed like one of those days for you. I don't think you should feel bad about admitting that to yourself and/or to us, your readers. Many of us can relate. Whether its baby weight, college weight, post break-up weight... We all gain and lose and gain and lose. I have no doubt you will bounce right back, but don't think for a second that you don't look so beautiful while pregnant. I'm sure through all the complaining, Jeff would agree, too :) Don't worry girl, it's almost over. Can't wait to see Miss Carson!

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    1. Madison,
      That means a lot that you felt the need to comment today...definitely helps me realize we all go through this at one point or another! Thank you

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  9. Thank you for being honest in this post. I've been reading for a long time now, but this one really resonated with me as I am expecting my first baby. It is so hard feeling like a ball of blubber all of the time! I know you'll bounce back as soon as Carson arrives! :)

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    1. thanks melissa!!! your kind comment is MUCH appreciated

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  10. Aw, hang in there love! I remember the mid-third trimester being the hardest part and when I felt the most like I was over it. At least in the final few weeks the excitement will take over. You'll be back to your tiny little self in no time! ;)

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    1. haha i sure hope so!!!! i'll be reading your posts on that, to

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  11. Ugh, I feel like I could have written this myself!

    I am on baby #2 and will also be in the 2 under 2 club. I am just about into the 3rd trimester and the weight is really starting to get to me too, doesn't help to see all the cute spring/summer clothes that I can't fit into right now!

    Ahh...this too shall pass :-)

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  12. i will be right there with you on the baby weight loss journey!

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  13. I normally just read your blog but thought I would comment today. I can completely relate! I felt this way when I was pregnant with my little girl. It's a struggle many deal with but most don't talk about. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing. I'm sure there is at least one person who will read this and feel better knowing they aren't alone (even if they don't comment). And I hope I look as good as you at 30 ;)

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  14. Hi Natasha! I rarely comment here amongst so many of your followers, but I thought I'd share a bit. We all know how hard it is: it's hard to admit that it's hard, to admit that the weight bothers you, and then to have to wait out the time that your body allows you afterwards to lose the weight when you so want it to go away no matter what you do. I'm just at a year now after my first and I've struggled the entire time. I breastfed up to 10 months and my body gained back weight during that time and held on tight to a slight few extra (crazy...I know but it did...even with working out and eating well...I didn't gain much during pregnancy so I thought it'd be a quick loss minus some more...boy was I wrong). I think I'm finally where I was before but I've had to let go of the numbers. Looking back I wish that I hadn't exercised until month 3.5 or so and just let my body rest and heal how it knew to, and just ate healthy and walked. I loved every minute with my baby boy (well almost..there were a few moments), but I wish that I had not tried to take control and just given it up to God. You'll get back there, I know you believe in God's timing so trust Him on this one too and enjoy your little girls for every second that you can. As you know, you can't get that time back. You're going to be so busy being a mommy to two that I'm sure it's all going to slip off eventually.....I'm realizing that now with my one. Keep your chin up and know that you are beautiful inside and out despite any numbers.

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  15. I'm another almost-never-commenter, but as a mama to 2 that are 16 months apart, I can tell you: You will be crazy busy with 2 babies. And the weight will probably drop off quickly in no time. But be mindful of the point after it does, because that's when it sneaks back up on you. You're so busy doling out goldfishes & apple juice (and sneaking a few fishies because you don't have time to prep grilled chicken & salad for yourself!) Go in with a battle plan, a positive attitude, and resolve to make your life as easy on yourself as possible. Cut yourself a lot of slack and surround yourself with good support. You'll get it all back, promise!! (Pilates, coffee, and adult beverages help, lol) Hugs!

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  16. Hi- I'm due the day before you (with #3) and I feel the exact same way! I love being pregnant and the baby that will come, but I'm ready to shed this body already and get on with it. Can't wait to get back to feeling like "me" again, and enjoying the small things that bring me joy (other than my kids of course). This would be a glass of wine at the end of the night with my husband, a HOT bath, or an awesome heart pounding workout. I know it's close, yet still feels so far away!

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  17. You may not feel great but you sure always look great! With your determination you will for sure bounce back! Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself your body has been through a lot in three years;)

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  18. Yet another always-reader never-commenter here: Thank you for your honesty! As a newlywed and hopeful future mama, I appreciate when other women are open and upfront about the reality of life (rather than sugarcoating it -- I guarantee you, if you just posted pictures of yourself hanging out with your adorable family and that precious little baby bump, no one would EVER know you felt like a blubber ball or could even FATHOM that the process was less-than-magical in all actuality). Just remember that the end product will be SO SO worth all of the discomfort... you will definitely have your hands (and heart!) full with your family of four in just a short little while!!! You are beautiful, this too shall pass, and be kind to yourself. Praying for a healthy third trimester, safe delivery, and God to be with you through this new phase of transition!!!!!!! xo, KD

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  19. You looked amazing when I saw you a couple weeks ago, but I completely understand. It's so hard to not feel like yourself or be in control of your body. I know you will bounce right back- you are young and fit! Love you!

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  20. Amen to this! I am 37 weeks with my first baby and am truly wondering if I will ever be back to "normal" after all this weight gain. For what it's worth, I think you look amazing and I have had you as my post baby weight loss role model! I hope you keep us updated on your weight loss journey and PLEASE share your tips and tricks. You will be back to your old self in no time!

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  21. I love that you were brave enough to write this. I feel the same way. I own a dance studio and have been a tiny little dancer my whole life. Now at 28 weeks pregnant...bam! Seeing the scale hit 155 at the doctors office the other day was the worst thing ever. I just keep reminding myself that it's all for this little girl and that before I know it, I'll be me again. Right now I feel like I've been taken over. You're beautiful and pretty soon this will all be in the past. Your plan for getting healthy and fit again sounds great! I hope you are able to enjoy the rest of this pregnancy, you're almost there!! : )

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