Over the past few weeks, I've been having feelings I have wanted to share, and I am just now having enough courage to share them on here - like I have mentioned before, my blog is a creative outlet that I occasionally use to write about things I am going through with regard to my personal life... this is specifically one of those times.
My good friends know I went through a very bad breakup with my ex-boyfriend about 5 months ago... with that being said, not even once have I looked back and thought about "what-if" because with God, everything happens for a reason and I knew something better was in store for me, even though at the time, I had no idea what was coming in my direction.
With that being said, I am at a point in my life where I am unbelievably and undeniably 100% content and happy. I almost feel guilty sometimes because I feel like I'm not worthy of having this much happiness in my life- like almost as if I feel like I never thought love like this would happen for me. You know the feeling, when you're completely crazy in love and get the butterflies in your stomach and you can't wait to see that person again. I'm a sucker for love and yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve, but this time, it's different in every way imagineable and I think this is it.
Now let me spill the beans... my situation isn't exactly one I'd call ideal by any means so no judgments because of what I'm about to say, but like I said before, some things fall apart so better things come together and that's just what happened to me. My now boyfriend and I have been friends for years, all throughout college but each of us had serious relationships with other people (so serious for him that he actually got married to one of my former good friends). I NEVER thought of him romantically, but always knew we had a lot in common and got along extremely well. After they got married, we stayed in touch, but things were never the same between my old friend and I... she distanced herself from our group of friends, never returned calls, and really wanted nothing to do with us (or so it seemed at the time). Slowly their relationship fell apart, and they decided to get a divorce.
Fast forward almost a year, and here I am with a completely different life... to make a long story short, my now-boyfriend (Jeff) and I stayed in contact and remained closer than he did to most of our other mutual friends, and after I broke up with my ex we started hanging out with one another since we both lived in Nashville and were both single again- first as friends, and then somehow it developed into something more. I tried to deny it for quite some time (as a few of my closest friends know very well), but finally he told me his true feelings and I not only followed my gut instinct, but for the first time in my life, I followed my heart and did what was right for me (with regards to relationships).
With all that being said, I want to say thank you to all my close friends out there who have stood by me as I made a very difficult decision about dating Jeff... it was one of the hardest things I have had to do, but I've always been a people-pleaser and now I am being a bit selfish and thinking of myself. One of my best friends told me this past weekend that for so long all she has wanted for me was to be happy and she knows I am now and that's all she needs to know to support my decision. Things finally feel right and I know I am finally with someone where our relationship is a true partnership, with each of us contributing equally and giving unconditionally. We're building on our faith and attend church together every week, spend quality time with each other and our families, and are taking each step very cautiously as we both know what it feels like to get hurt... but in any sense, I'm a very positive person and only see blue skies ahead - I'm a very lucky girl and I have a feelings things will only get better from here, especially with us taking our 1st trip together this coming weekend to NAPA! Can't wait- Happy Monday friends!